As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Your cock deserves a montage
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
