i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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