Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
