Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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