I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
