Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
