O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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