He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
