Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So many bounce houses so little time
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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