Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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