Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
