We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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