Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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