I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
