He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All the doctor said was why
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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