Your tits are I can't wait for
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
