I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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