Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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