I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
not ubering you a puppy
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
