we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize