Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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