you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
