pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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