Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize