At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize