Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
