I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
