WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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