in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
