HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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