Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
