You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
