it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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