How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
