and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
