The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
