We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
