clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
