Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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