forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He passed out mid-signature
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
