now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
