Plan B is the new Plan A
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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