question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
