I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
