He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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