the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
