at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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