can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
