How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
