How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
is that a dick in a sweater?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
