I wanna passion pit in your ass
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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