apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
