and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.