Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Rumble strips road head = magical
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!