Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer