i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
