I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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