so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Panties = found
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
