we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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